hooting spitballs is the kind of sophomoric stunt that every generation of kids seems to discover. Times change, but the sense of humor that thinks firing wet globs at friends and enemies is hilarious will always be a part of growing up. Now, in an effort to appeal to kids in the Bart Simpson stage of life, toymaker Jakks Pacific has released the Toilet Paper Blaster Skid Shot, a contraption that automates the spitball process.
The TP Blaster, as it is also known, is a toy gun that shoots damp pieces of toiler paper. It replaces the relatively slow, laborious and disgusting process of making spitballs, loading them into a straw and firing them at their friends and enemies.
Instead, kids simply load a roll of toilet paper onto the feeding mechanism and fill the water reservoir. Then, they pull back on the loading mechanism, pump the handle twice and pull the trigger to fire. It’s completely unnecessary and completely immature, so of course kids will love it.
The toilet paper globs are about half of a single sheet, so you can fire over 350 from a single roll. It has a range of up to 30 feet, and kids can test their accuracy using the three cut-out targets printed on the packaging.
Jakks recommends thin, 2-ply toilet paper, as thicker sheets can jam the mechanism. A tool is included that will help you clear any jams that do arise.
Compared to real spitballs, there’s a lot less saliva. Compared to other toy guns, there are no darts to collect or water to mop up, though you’ll probably want to make sure your house doesn’t become covered in dried-out pieces of toilet paper.
The Toiler Paper Blaster Skid Shot is available on Amazon. It is completely frivolous, and it’ll cost you $20. If you do end up getting one for your kid, just do their teacher a favor and ensure that it never gets into the school building.